The Lyric Archive

Wonderful words painting pictures to soothe your soul.



The Sovereign Ring (Badham)

I got this tattoo to remind me of you
I wear this gold ring 'cos it just makes me sing
I drink only larger like my dear old father

I'm just like him, it's the Sovereign ring

I fight when I have to, it's just part of life
Ask my old man it's been part of him
He's always happy even got a new wife
I will be like him, it's the Sovereign ring

I've worked and I've saved for the sake of my son
But life is hard just ask anyone
So when you left me I spent it on drink
Just like my father, it's the Sovereign ring

I've lived in this city and so it has been
At least my son grew up around me
For his eighteenth I bought him this thing
It wasn't much, just a Sovereign ring


D-list Disillusion (Badham/Unwin)

Riding through the crystal night
A magic Christmas all glazed in white
Tonight's the night for majestic lights
Commanded by a D-list sight

With bitterness so hard to quell
To mankind I just had to tell
Of my hatred for the list of D
Celebrities like Rusty Lee

But to the sordid scene I came
Never has my life felt so in vain
Then the lights came in a flash
Courtesy of some bloke called Ash
(v.o Wasn't he the guy out of Casualty?)

Cloaked in night I began to muse
Must our sensed be abused
By second-rate actors, people of no news
Well blow them all, blow the whole damn fuse

Another year over and the lights are gone
All that's left is the sense of wrong
Another year over and the lights are gone
All that's' left is the sense of wrong


Crisis at Christmas (Unwin)

There's a crisis at Christmas
No food on the table
But we've got Santa Claus
Lighting up our gable (Mabel)

Yes we're spent up on the 'leccy
No cash left for grub
We'll probably end up with a bag of crisps
Outside at the pub

There's a crisis at Christmas
No food on the table
But we've got Santa Claus
Lighting up our gable (Flashing)

But look out in the garden
What electric wonders there
Flashing cribs and Reindeer
A revolving Polar Bear

There's a crisis at Christmas
No food on the table
But we've got Santa Clause
Flashing all over our gable (Mabel)

While Shepherds watched their flocks at night
All seated on the ground
We turned on our garden lights
And glory shone around

There's a crisis at Christmas
No food on the table
But we've got Santa Clause
Lighting up our gable

There's a crisis at Christmas
No food on the table
But we've got Santa Clause
Lighting up our gable

Silent night
Holy night
'Round our house
All is bright
Some folks like it
Others say that it's shhh..



Alice ( A Boxing Day song ) (McDonald)

Sure was surprised to see you last night
I knew it wasn't your scene
Home from Miami I see you've been soaking
The sun, the wine and your dreams

But Alice said she's doing alright
Alice was lying again
And Alice said boy it's nice to see you
Alice was lying again

I bought her a drink and we chatted a while
I thought she'd grown to look old
Hidden behind all that lipstick and makeup
I felt she'd come to be sold

But Alice said she's doing alright
Alice was lying again
And Alice said boy it's nice to see you
Alice was lying again

And Alice was here on this Boxing Day morning
One day you see her and then she's not there
And Alice the girl who'll spin you some fable
Something to savour for when she is not there

She's Ann Nightingaling and that's why she's failing
She thinks that life is a scream
Up in the morning but soon she is yawning
A pseudo's life is no dream

But Alice said she's doing alright
Alice was lying again
And Alice said boy it's nice to see you
Alice was lying again

She was singing and dancing and free
For a while our intentions were key


Panda in a Blizzard (Unwin)

Never mind Chi-Chi nor Ho-Chi-Minh
What a terrible mess that my Pandas got in
Stuck out in a blizzard on the M62
No sign of Green Flag or Bamboo shoots

Panda, Panda, Panda in a blizzard
On his way to see a show staring Eddie Izzard
Getting out of here's gonna need a task wizard
Yes he's gonna need a, need a task wizard

Clutching his ticket in between his little paws
Is he gonna sit here until the snow thaw's
The ticket's for the first show, man it's early doors
Chi-Chi's back in Cromer but here the wind roars

Panda, Panda, Panda in a blizzard
On his way to see a show staring Eddie Izzard
Getting out of here's gonna need a task wizard
Yes he's gonna need a real good wizard

Well the WWF that's a bigger choice yes
Endangered species in a terrible mess
Bam-Bam Bigalow Hulk Hogan and the rest

Panda, Panda, Panda in a blizzard
On his way to see a show staring Eddie Izzard
Getting out of here's gonna need a task wizard
Yes he's gonna need a hell of a wizard

The Panda's calling home on his mobile phone
But he's gonna get on with the show
Poor little Panda never felt so low

Panda, Panda, Panda in a blizzard
On his way to see a show staring Eddie Izzard
Getting out of here's gonna need a tank wizard
Yes he's gonna need a tank or a wizard


Turkey Baster (Unwin)

We live in an age of Technology
You don't need a man when you need a baby
Test-tubes invitro and cloning too
So baby pass
So baby pass
So baby pass
Pass the Turkey-baster

What's the use of Men these days
Some might say they're wasters
Me i'm on a solo mission now
So baby pass
So baby pass
So baby pass
Pass the Turkey-baster

Yes I've made a decision
I've got no time to waste yeah
My temperature's perfect
I gotta get on
With the job in hand oh
So baby pass
So baby pass
So baby pass
Pass the Turkey-baster




Let's Eat out this Christmas ( Not ) (Unwin)

Let's go down the pub this Christmas
The change''ll do us good
It'll save our mum the cookin'
Let's get some pub grub
It won't be too expensive
It'll save on the washing up
We'll be back for the Queen's speech
With a little bit of luck

Rang up the Dog and Trumpet
Forty-four pounds each
But that includes a widescreen
Queen's speech guaranteed
That's right Forty-four quid
Veggie option too
Half-price for your kiddies
A party bag for you

So let's not eat out this Christmas
It'll cost a bleedin' bomb
And Mum just loves to do the cookin'

And we love dear old mum
Yeah we love our mum
Yeah we love our mum
We just love our mum


The Bungalow that Never Sleeps (Unwin)

What do they do there?
Way deep in the night
What do they do there
Something's not right
Well she's a sweet little Bungalow
They don't come cheap
A sweet little Bungalow
Yeah give's me the creeps
Sweet little Bungalow
I'm talkin' 'bout the Bungalow that never sleeps

What's goin' on there
In the early dawn
Have people died there
Have kids been born
Somethin's goin' on there
Somethin' not right
What kind of Bungalow
Don't sleep at night

A sweet little Bungalow
Yeah give's me the creeps
Sweet little Bungalow
I'm talkin' 'bout the Bungalow that never sleep

Whodoo the Voodoo say
Say Dr John
Babe it don't feel right there
Kind of feel all wrong
Most people dream 'bout
A bungalow by the sea
This little bungalow's on the
A4103

A sweet little Bungalow
Yeah that don't come cheep
A sweet little Bungalow
Yeah give's me the creeps
Sweet little Bungalow
I'm talkin' 'bout the Bungalow that never sleep

What do they do there
Way deep in the night
What do they do there
Somethin' ain't right
Somethin' ain't right

(Somethin' aint right in that bungalow, somethin' wrong, somethin VERY wrong)


Harry Tuffin's ( Shop or Zoo? ) (Unwin)

I never get bored on the way to Shrewsbury
Got a place down there never fails to amuse me
Is it a shop or is it a Zoo
You'd better believe me 'cos Brother it's true

Harry Tuffin I tell you no joke
Harry Tuffin is a hell of a bloke
For Ring-tailed Lemurs or Artichokes
Harry Tuffin's I tell you no joke

So if you want a bag of sugar or a mountain Goat
You know where to go outside Church Stoke
Some pets are dangerous some you can stroke
Harry Tuffin a hell of a bloke


He hit a bit of trouble with the planning reg's
Some veno
mous snakes in among the clothes pegs
As for Health and Safty well they bent a few rules
There's no disabled access to the Dolphin pools

Harry Tuffin I tell you no joke
Harry Tuffin is a hell of a bloke
For Ring-tailed Limeurs or Artichokes
Harry Tuffin's I tell you no joke


Well the kids are never bored there's always something to do
Harry Tuffin's Shop or Zoo
That's right brother I ain't bluffin'
You'd better get down to Harry Tuffin's

Harry Tuffin I tell you no joke
Harry Tuffin is a hell of a bloke
For Ring-tailed Limeurs or Artichokes
Harry Tuffin's I tell you no joke

Harry Tuffin I tell you no joke
Harry Tuffin is a hell of a bloke
For Ring-tailed Limeurs or Artichokes
Harry Tuffin's I tell you no joke

HarryTuffin
Harry Tuffin
Tuffin Tuffin
Harry Harry
HarryTuffin
Harry Tuffin
Tuffin Tuffin
Harry Llama



Lady Jane (McDonald)

Last time I saw you the rain was a hole in my shoe
And I just can't remember those things I whispered to you
You some Madonna and me a Romeo'd clown
Your upper-class virtues were really getting me down

There's nothing quite like a lady who
Drinks Champagne anyway
But there again you with those eyes so blue
Blew those bubbles away

The bookshelves were full and the late-night reading piled high
The dust on the bed hid the lust where I wanted to lie
But settee'd and safe you'd show me pictures of you
You should've been princess or ductchess i'll give you that due

There's nothing quite like a lady who
Wings her way 'round a room
But there again you with those eyes so blue
Flew me into your gloom


Last time I saw you our love was a walk in the rain
My intentions to capture your heart had floundered again
You so retiring and me a jester in two
Your palace your fortress will sadly always be you

There's nothing quite like a lady who
Drinks Champagne anyway
But then again you with those eyes so blue
Blew those bubbles away



The Line Dancer's Car (Unwin)

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I went and bought a car from a line dancer

The clutch was OK man the bodywork just fine
So I snapped up the deal and signed on the line
Drove her back home man that baby was mine
Picked up my good gal and went for a drive

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I went and bought a car from a line dancer

Things was goin' well, well we were both impressed
'Till I turned on the radio cassette
The tape was stuck in man it went 'round and 'round
I can hardly recall that high lonesome sound

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I went and bought a car from a line dancer

It was a line dancin' tape with that line dancin' sound
Make no mistake and swing your partner around
I couldn't turn it off as we cruised 'round town

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I went and bought a car from a line dancer

So it went on and winter turned into spring
Me and my baby grew to like that thing
Cross over to the left and yes a Grapevine swing
We couldn't beat 'em so we joined in that line dancing thing

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I went and bought a car turned me into a line dancer

Second-hand cars are for gamblers and chancers
I thank the Lord 'cos now I'm a line dancer


Mystery Man (Unwin)

Standin' in the church, head held in his hand
Tell me all about him baby, i'll understand

Who was that mystery man?
Was he your history man?
Who was that mystery man?

Somethin' in your eyes, maybe a distant land
I remember that day in church when you held my hand

But who was that mystery man?
Was he your history man?
Was he your mystery man?

Standin' in the doorway like only you can
Tell me was he some part of your distant plan

Who was that mystery man?
Was he your history man?
Who was that mystery man?

Drive him away now with no wave of your hand
Could have been different, could have been like we planed

He was your mystery man
Now I understand
He was your mystery man
Yeah i'm history man

He was your mystery man
Hey man i'm history man
Yeah now babe I understand
Woah your mystery man



The Hallow Llama Drama (Unwin)

It's a village thought to be peaceful and mellow
Then they had a Llama drama down in Hallow
Spooked by the sound of an RAF chopper
They burst out of their pens were up and offa

Lock up your daughters and lock up your sons
Llamas on the stampede oh what have they done
Vicar said to Mr's Smith don't be alarm-ed
It's just a stampede by a few dozen Llamas

First stop for pillage was the village shop
Then they rogered the butcher and all of his stock
W.I meeting got a terrible shock
Twenty-six Llamas, not even one knock!

Lock up you daughters and lock up your sons
Llamas on the stampede oh what have they done
Vicar said to Mr's Smith don't be alarm-ed
It's just a stampede by a few dozen Llamas

It should make the village news it's brahma
Peaceful village idyll shattered by a Llama drama
Thank the Lord nobody got seriously harmed
Thanks to the vicar some God-sent charma

Lock up you daughters and lock up your sons
Llamas on the stampede oh what have they done
Vicar said to Mr's Smith don't be alarm-ed
It's just a stampede by a few dozen Llamas

House prices are dropping the people are scared
It takes guts to buy a property there
There's a sign on the village green Llamas beware
It used to be peaceful now there's drama there

Lock up you daughters lock up your sons
Lock up you daughters lock up your sons
Lock up you daughters lock up your sons
Lock up you daughters lock up your sons



Silver Mobility Scooter (Unwin)

Hand over the gun don't pause don't shoot her
I got a brand new silver mobility scooter
That's right don't you wanna salute her
I got a brand new silver mobility scooter

It's not down to me
Shopmobility
Put the idea in me
Now i'm a one man vigilante

So if you've got Civil disorder
Riots of looters
Don't call The LAPD
Don't call no sharp-shooters
(You guessed it)
Give me a ring I'll be there in a flash
In my brash, brand-new sliver mobility scooter

It's not down to me
Shopmobility
Put the idea in me
Now i'm a one man vigilante



Again (McDonald)

And as I go about the simple chores the morning brings
I think of you and wondered how you did those simple things again
And as I wander through the dawn that starts this noisy town
I think of everybody's' words and of how they'd cut you down again

Who said you had nothing to live for at all
What man was it pushed you and shoved you to fall?
Building tower above the ground
Courage so rare is found
Fallen wings of a lonely bird
Never again is heard

And when I think of all your friends and ask the question why
I'm sure they'd say it wasn't them it's as though you were alive again
To come so far and be afraid yet climb to look on down
Is a tribute to your sanity and a comment on this town again

Who said you had nothing to live for at all
What man was it pushed you and shoved you to fall?
Building tower above the ground
Courage so rare is found
Fallen wings of a lonely bird
Never again is heard



Throckmorton Blues (Unwin)

May the twenty-second
Two thousand and two
Toya Wilcox reading her
Her Evening news
Headlines have grabbed her
They grabbed her hard

Two thousand refugees
They're camping in her back yard

Throckmorton blues
Throckmorton blues
Everybody's got a whole lot to loose

My friend Tom Petty
Said this to me
Said you shouldn't have to live like a
Like a refugee
Hey these people been kicked around
They're running from the slaughter
Think of them as your sisters and brothers
Hey they could be your daughters

Throckmorton blues
Throckmorton blues
Everybody's got a whole lot to loose

Well good people of Throckmorton
Just listen to me
I don't wanna upset you boys
Don't wanna make you angry
I know about house prices
I know that you bought 'em
But good people of Throckmorten
Stop look listen hey what's important

Throckmorton blues
Throckmorton blues
Throckmorton blues
Everybody's got a damn whole lot to lose

We all love you Toyah
We wouldn't want to annoy ya
Bad publicity man
Well that could easily destroy ya
But i got a solution

That could make you happy
Just knock a few grand off the price
Sell the bugger to me

Throckmorton blues
Everybody's got a whole lot to loose



Shefali (Unwin/Rose)


Shefali, Shefali cop a load of this
Oh there's a cold front coming in
And you can make it miss
Oh you're our favorite weather girl
Even more than Michael Fish
So next time your on the box girl
Just blow us a kiss

Shefali, Shefali you know the words to say
Shefali, Shefali you brighten up our day
You're funny and you're sunny
With your weather everyday
So next time you're on the box girl
Just blow a kiss our way

Well lightning strikes and thunderstorms
They will not steal your smile
Rain and snow and driving hail
Won't dull you for a while
Why even on November days
Your pearly whites still shine
Just nod just wink just blow a kiss
And you'll make us feel fine

Shefali, Shefali you know the words to say
Shefali, Shefali you brighten up our day
You're funny and you're sunny
With your weather everyday
So next time you're on the box girl
Just blow a kiss our way

Shefali, Shefali you're in our living room
Well you bring rays of sunshine when
When all around is gloom
And you said that there'd be a hurricane
Across the West Midlands today
But we're not worried Shefali
You've already blown us away

Shefali, Shefali you know the words to say
Shefali, Shefali you brighten up our day
You're funny and you're sunny
With your weather everyday
So next time you're on the box girl
Just blow a kiss our way

Shefali, Shefali Shefali



Ringtone Ringing in a Public Place (Hopkins)


I had a girl and we did get along
Kinda strange but we did get along
Got along with her little sticks
And her voluntary scissor-kicks
I defend what she did with those tongs

But I had to tell her something
I just got to get some space
It's your ringtone ringing in a public place

I had a babe who wore marigold flares
She went to nightclubs in marigold flares
Now those chicks get lucky
On channel four's "Born Sloppy"
Or those worn on "Nationwide" by Pam Ayres
I loved her wild bikini, she was crazy about me
Ringtone ringing in a public place

Blue this time

I loved the girl like sweet summer dawns
Loved the girl like sweet summer dawns
Loved the train she thought she got
From some Belgian auction lot
You know she killed those little tricks with her chords

Cheeky Girls this time

(The rest is unintellagble except for the line "she put her ear-wax in the Beef Stroganoff)



Mother's Been Taken By The W.I (Unwin)

Spoken
(The following has been recorded in the interests of any
children who feel that their Mothers are spending
inordinate amounts of time at their local W.I.
Our advice is don't do nothing, speak or telephone somebody
you can trust. Act now, for you never know quite where
these things can lead.)

W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly
W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly

She should be here making us our tea
She's down there working at the jam factory
We're practically orphans my brother and I
Since mother got taken by the W.I

W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly
W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly

Well would you like to join us go on give it a try
You'll soon make friends meet Enid and Di
You don't ask questions at the W.I the W.I W.I
They're secret and they're sly

W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly

Well now she's social secretary takes Bingo too
whilst drives and Raffles nothing she won't do
But us kids are losing weight the whole village knows why
Our mother's been taken by the W.I

W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly
W.I, W.I they're secret and they're sly


Epicentre Dudley (Unwin)


I was lying in my bed last night
Feeling all warm I was cuddly
I felt the earth move
I felt the floor shake

Epicentre Dudley

Well oh what damage there could be
Some slates are off at number three
Thank God we're Christians you and me
I thank the Lord most gratefully

Epicentre Dudley

It's a message from the Taliban
Or perhaps too much Banks's Bitter
What was that rumbling down below
Is our Malcolm on the shhhhh

Epicentre Dudley

Well are they trying to wipe us out
Or do they think that we'm ugly
It was half-way up the Richter scale
My missus said it felt lovely

Epicentre Dudley

So now we're famous yes it's true
We've had an earthquake we got a zoo
There's hordes of tourists they're pouring thorough
They don't know what they're coming to

Epicentre Dudley

So there's a date that will stay with me
Yeah that's September twenty three
Year of two thousand and two
The earth moved for me did it move for you?

Epicentre Dudley



Justin and his Fabulous Organ (Unwin/Jennings)


He's from over the road he can play it for you
He's a Bontempi man through and through
Songs of love and hate but mainly hate
Like him or love him yeah I think he's great

Justin, Justin and his fabulous organ
Justin, Justin oh you know I adore him
Justin, Justin won't you give it to me
Please unleash your organ it's a Bontempi
Oh Justin

Carol Carol oh Caroline
You know he sings about you all the time
Everybody knows about you and your sins
'Cos the man with the biggest organ he always wins

Justin, Justin and his fabulous organ
Justin, Justin oh you know I adore him
Justin, Justin won't you give it to me
Please unleash your organ it's a Bontempi
Oh Justin


Thrill me Thrill me Bring Back the Trilby


Well thrill me, thrill me bring back the Tillby

I said thrill me, thrill me bring back the Trillby
Name a Russan Spy in one - Kim Philby!

Well nowaydays it's cool to wear a Baseball hat
George Cowley band gonna change all that
Well thrill me, thrill me bring back the Tillby

I said thrill me, thrill me bring back the Trillby
Name a Russan Spy in one - Kim Philby!



Hereford Land of 1000 Charity Shops (Unwin)

Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops

I went down to Hereford to see the Magna Carta
Jumped in my Corolla she's a first-time starter

I went to Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
I'm talking Hereford land of 1000 charity shops

Parked up down town took a look around
Amazed at the charity shops I found

Down in Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
I was in Hereford it's the land of 1000 charity shops

They got Oxfam, Barnado's, Acorns Hospice Shop
PDSA Redcross man they got the lot

In Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
I was in Hereford land of 1000 charity shops

By now too late to see the Magna Carter
But I got a Haynes manual for my first-time starter

Down in Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
I've been to Hereford land of 1000 charity shops

On the way back home something did remind me
It was not the Magna Carta but the Mappa Mundi

Kept in Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Yes Hereford you're the land of 1000 charity shops

Never mind kids we can go next Sunday
In my brand-new car it's a red Hyundai

Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
We'll go to Hereford it's the land of 1000 charity shops

We drove to the Cathedral to see the Mappa Mundi
The museum was shut you see it's shut every Sunday

In Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops
Hereford land of 1000 charity shops




DELAYED ACTION (Clarke)

Korf tells some new jokes of a new sort
That only many hours later work
We listen to them bored

Yet like some still fuse in the dark
You wake up suddenly that night in bed
Beaming like a Baby newly fed


THAT GIRL (Clarke)


They found that girl today
I'd see her on my train
She had a lovely tan
I dig chicks from Japan

They found that girl today
Her lips were dead and grey
Her hair was a dyed blonde
She had some face paint on

You never told me what you were going through
I was a liar but I never lied to you
We can't complain, we are safe and we are rich
But what was she thinkin, now they've found her in a ditch

They found that girl today
I'd see her on my train
Nobody really cared
Her eyes were always red

They found that girl today
Her lips were dead and grey
She smiled at me one time
I did nothing

You never told me what you were going through
I was a liar but I never lied to you
We can't complain, we are safe and we are rich
But what was she thinking now they've found her in a ditch



He Laid Her Down (Unwin)

He was a fruit pickin' man
Went from town to town
Fruit pickin' man, first to lay her down
By the river by the fairground across town
He let her down
He let her down

Nine months later Evesham was born
In the cottage hospital on a grey morn
Mom at the window all forlorn
Lights of the fairground shone all around
It let her down
It let her down

Life wasn't easy then on your own
If she'd had wings I guess she'd have flown
Friends and relations could not be found
They let her down
They let her down



The Childhood (Brown/Pope/Unwin)

It was a difficult childhood, deprived but not depraved
Council flat with mom not dad he'd left for fruitier raves.
Momma striving hard for cash, her fruit bowl never filled
Whilst poppa picked more cherries in someone else's field.

No pa to kiss or cuddle when bedtime came each night
No dad to tuck his blankets in, no one to dim the light.
Momma dressed in leather so influenced, ashamed
And Evesham loved old Harley's ‘n' the big sounds that they made.

No friends phoned for Evesham
And no one ever called
Only bikers ever saw him
He learned the biker's drawl.
No children's games for Evesham
No pleasures of the heart
A childhood full of motor bikes
Life lacking a kick start

He spent so long alone with just old socket sets
‘N' open ended spanners, crying to forget.
Mom she struggled, did do her best but hadn't got the skills
To school the boy, teach him things, young Evesham wanted thrills.
He took his love of bikes from momma's Angel friends
All he knew was engines, where was it goin' to end.
And home was like a breakers yard, engines, bikes and parts
No one saw the other scrap, the boy with a broken heart

No friends phoned for Evesham
And no one ever called.
Only bikers ever saw him
He spoke with biker's drawl.
No children's games for Evesham
No pleasures of the heart
A childhood full of motor bikes
Still waiting for his kick start
NO FRIENDS NO FRIENDS NO FRIENDS
WAITING FOR HIS KICK START


You're Not A Bad Mother part 1 (Unwin)

You're not a bad mother, mother
Look what you done
Not a bad mother
Mother I am your son
What other mother's lover
Go and do what he did
What other mother's lover'd leave you here
With a kid?

You're not a bad mother, mother
Look what you done, not a bad mother
Mother
I am your son


Silent Scream (Badham)

There's nothing here for me, but pain so easily
Won't someone help me please, with all my silent screams
And each new day brings school, the torture of a fool
One who suffers these, searing silent screams
I try to carve a way, in one endless day
A journey just for me, walked with silent screams
This place has torn my dreams, prayer won't offer peace
I need to be released, from all these silent screams

I've got to sing, louder than I mean
Draw joy and dream, from every little thing
I'll take my soul, store it for a while
Till life is mine and mine alone

I'd put a record on, and lose myself in song
But each time I do, I fail to find a truth
I'd find a girl with golden hair, would she really care
Would she share with me, all my silent screams

I've got to sing, louder than I mean
Draw joy and dream, from every little thing
I'll take my soul, store it for a while
Till life is mine and mine alone

I'd put a record on
I'd put a record on
I'd put a record on
I'd put a record on………




Check Out Girls (Unwin)

If I'd have been around, around the whole round world
Never met nothing like a check out girl
So c'mon little baby, let's give it a whirl
Gotta check you out
You're a check out girl

You got it down the bottom and you got it up top
I see you stackin' shelves down at the local Co –Op
If you were special offer girl I'd take the whole lot
Wop-bop-a-looma-rama-lama-be-bop

Closing time you'll always see me hanging around
Even tho' the Co – Op's at the other end of town
But this is true love Cherie it's so rarely found
In the deepest depths of Evesham
Can't ya hear my heart pound?

It's a romantic town




Pig In A Blanket (Unwin)

I'm a happy, happy, happy man on a hot dog stand
Things are lookin' up gonna turn out like I planned
I came here as a boy, I'll be going out a man
Always do your best, do the best you can
I'm a happy, happy, happy, happy man

Yes, you can push it (wind your body down)
You can shove it (hang it on down)
You can thank it (turn it all around)
You can lick it, you can love it,
You can bless it, you can thank it
Thank the lord I got a pig in a blanket

Roll up , roll up , roll up they're sizzlin' and thick
Don't eat too many , son – bound to make you sick
I'm as happy as Larry or a pig in ….
Always do your best, do the best you can
Well I'm a happy , happy, happy, happy man

Yes, you can push it (wind your body down)
You can shove it (hang it on down)
You can thank it (turn it all around)
You can lick it, you can love it,
You can bless it, you can thank it
Thank the lord i got a pig in a blanket

You'll find my stand down by the wall of death
If I ‘ll ever make it there is anybody's guess
Meantime I'm fryin' up a heavenly mess
Always do the best, best you can
‘Cos I'm a happy, happy, happy, happy man

Yes, you can push it (wind your body down)
You can shove it (hang it on down)
You can thank it (turn it all around)
You can lick it, you can love it,
You can bless it, you can thank it
Thank the lord I got a pig in a blanket




Wall Of Death (Brown/Pope/Unwin)

The rider's down, the show'll close, Evesham rides, he'll take the job
The bike'll be maintained and pay's twenty quid a ride
It's new to him, he'll give it a go, it's the chance he's waited for.
He‘ll need some practice time but it's really now or never

Biker's helter skelter
Pleasure ride of terror
On Evesham's call to fame
The wall of death

Just one way up, and tragedy down, circular lines on a wooden wall
Rubber, smoke and danger, adrenaline rush and noise
Horizontal ride, with a vertical fall, nerves of steel, on a learning curve
Thoughts of wealth and fame for doin' just what feels right

Biker's helter skelter
Pleasure ride of terror
On Evesham's call to fame
The Wall of Death
The Wall of Death

So goodbye and thank it
To them pigs in blankets
How he hates to see ‘em go
Let's get on with the show

Round and round, breathing fumes.Tired and bored, gaspin' for air
Same old lines on that wooden run, how long was it going to last?
Taking the purse, enjoying the fame, good ‘n' bad rides, honing skills
Learned the ropes, but yearned more, it must be time to leave

Biker's helter skelter
Pleasure ride of terror
The Wall of Death
The Wall of Death
The Wall of Death




Rave on the Avon (Unwin/Badham)

Buddy Holly records playing in his head
Evesham branches out jumpin' buses instead
Movin' one step ahead from his wall of death
Gets a reputation for jumpin' only with the best
Likes to step it up, likes the roar and the shiver
Someone says they'll pay him good if he jumps the river
Evesham's not one to turn down a dare
And soon there's a media circus there

Yes, it's a rave on, rave upon the Avon
Evesham's got a crazy feeling
Like he's rockin' and a reeling
At the rave on, rave on the Avon
At the rave on, rave on the Avon
At the rave on, rave on the Avon

Big day approaches and the media go mad
T.V crews from USA and even from Baghdad
His mother's in the crowd feeling kinda bad
Evesham is the only son that she ever had
Revving up the ramp, it's the best bike he ever had
Crowd is cheering madly, he's a local lad
Flies up in the air with the greatest of ease
Hesitates a little, picks up in the breeze

And then he sails on, floatin' high
Across the Avon and now
Then he's rockin' and a reelin'
At the rave on, rave on the Avon

Where to now? Evesham thinks to himself
I gotta break more records
Gotta get down from the shelf
I've had a ball, just ridin' the wall
And then the offers come world – wide
He takes up one to move stateside
All the jumps and all the money
The home boy done good

And then he sails on, floatin' high
Across the Avon and now
Then he's rockin' and a reelin'
At the rave on, rave on the Avon


Newport Passport Office (Unwin)

Civil Servants come and Civil Servants go
But there's a place they go
Where they never get old

They really love it
They got a job don't wanna
Shove it
Newport Passport Office
It really does it for me
But can it do it for E
Stand back, let's see

Upstairs to Mrs Watkins
There's a girl who likes to rock things
She got a daughter, even she sings
You'll have your passport today
I'll get it rightaway
Yeah, for the U.S.A

Got a job
Really love it
Don't ever wanna shove it
Newport Passport Office
It really does it for me
It really does it for me
It really does it for me….

Evesham's service was perfection
He got frisked in reception
And yes he's leaving today
For the U.S.A
They wave him on his way
They got a job
Really love it
Don't ever wanna shove it
Newport Passport Office
Really does it for me
Really does it for me




My American Girl (Pope)

It's been a long hard ride
Down a one way street
Without any kind of comfort
From the girls I meet
But in a place so far from home
With the stars and stripes unfurled
I've found myself a lady to really
Rock my world
I do believe I'm falling in love
With an American girl

Sail away with me (My American girl )
Let your heart run free (My American girl)
You know I'll always be (My American girl)

And the biggest apple I can see
Is the apple in my eye
And if livin' means to lose her
Then I would gladly die
I'll never stop falling in love

Sail away with me (My American girl )
Let your heart run free (My American girl)
You know I'll always be (My American girl)

It's a long way south from Heaven
To the place I'm bound
And it ain't no place for dreamin'
But with a sunset in my sights
and an engine ‘ tween my legs
What's gonna happen next is anybody's guess
But I'll always have my one true love

Sail away with me (My American girl )
Let your heart run free (My American girl)
You know I'll always be (My American girl)


Livin' in the USA (Unwin/Badham)

I'm jet propelled here, a celebrity
I got a boulevard
Named just after me
Lookin' good now
I'm livin' in the USA
We got freeways
Skyscrapers by the truckload
Make the A44
Look like a backroad
I'm livin' in the USA

I love the USA
Feelin' good today
I'm staying stateside
(Brings out the Evesham in me
Brings out the Evesham in - - - )

We got drive ins, corner cafes
And a jukebox
Jumpin' with records
Like they used to
I'm livin' in the USA

Got a house on the hill
It's a mansion
I got a coup de ville
Tell you she's handsome
I'm livin' in the USA
Well, they say I'm
Gettin' on now
Windin' down
I'll prove ‘em wrong now
I'm livin' in the USA

Yes, I'm gonna
Gonna jump me
Jump the big one
The Grand Canyon
That's my next run
I'm livin' in the USA

I love the USA
Feelin' good today
I'm staying stateside
(Brings out the Evesham in me
Brings out the Evesham in - - - )



Grand Canyon (Bagley/Pope/Unwin/Badham)

Now I've got my bike it's a rocket machine
Gotta take a final hike to realise my dream
Them Grand Canyon trails all a glisten in the sun
Gonna fire up my pistons and take my final run

Evesham Kinevel Ride on through
Dunno where this final jump will take me to
Memories flash by it's a jump too far
Maybe should have stuck to my motorcar

That crowd is out there, a calling my name
Gonna take my final bow to jump into fame
Them leathers hooked up, all a shimmer in the sky
Let's hope the weathers good, a good day to die.

Revving up my engine it's time to go
Gotta start again, but it starts to blow
Wheels have left the ground, and I wonder why I'm here
Wanna turn back around,can't you feel the fear

Evesham Kinevel Ride on through
Dunno where this final jump will take me to
Memories flash by it's a jump too far
Maybe should have stuck to my motorcar

They say I won't make it to the other side....................
I'm in middair..............
I'm Evesham Knieval...............
Now they think I'm evil.............
Gotta find a way I'm Evesham Knieval.....
I've nowhere to hide...............
Break on through...............
Break on......................
Another side..................
Falling.............................

 


The Fallout (Unwin)

USA is the place to be
when you're fine and dandy, not busted up like E
They say nobody loves you when you're down and out
Evesham's ‘bout to find out what that song was all about
He'd been let down
He'd been let down

His honey left him after 30 years (she let him down)
Said she'd be there thru' his hopes, his dreams, his fears
His friends were nowhere to be found (they let him down)
His backers pulled out, moved way across town
He'd been let down
He'd been let down

No money left, his dollars dry
Evesham all alone, a tear came to his eye
So it's back to the UK and the NHS
Evesham cottage hospital, that boy he's a mess
He's been let down
He's been let down




You're Not A Bad Mother part 2 (Unwin)

Evesham, its your mother, mother
What have you done?
Lyin' there all broken up
But don't give up son
I'm not a bad mother, mother
You are my son
Together we can pull on through
Your jumpin' ain't done

Yeah you're not a bad mother, mother
You wouldn't lie
I'm gonna Jump the Avon Again
Before I die
I'm Feeling so much stronger Mother
Mother don't cry
I'm feeling so much better Mother
I'm ready to fly




A Jump Too Far (Jennings)

What were you thinking Evesham?
You coulda had it all
You should have realised by now
That pride comes before a fall

I'm not saying
That old age should hold you back
All you needed was perspective
That was all that you lacked

But you never stopped chasing that star
It was just a jump too far

What were you thinking Evesham
Now you're lying on the ground
All you wanted was their love
But now the crowd don't make a sound

‘Cos you never stopped chasing that star
It was just a jump too far….




This Hospital (Pope)

I lie in this hospital
Where I was born
A shadow of the man I used to be
Dreams battered and torn,
Don't know if I can carry on
Don't know if I can carry on
Don't know if I can carry on

Close your eyes, poor Evesham
Surrender to the night
Let go your fear and your pain will
Disappear
Walk into the light
Walk into the light
Walk into the light…..

 


They Laid Him Down (Unwin)

Burying day and the rain came down
Just a few old timers gathered around
Mother stood there looking in the ground
By the river, by the fairground, way across town
They laid him down
They laid him down

You could hardly hear her wailing sound
Looked at her poor boy as they lowered him down
(With his) troubles, joys, loves and strife
Evesham Knievel – a life
They laid him down
They laid him down

And as she turned to walk away
She heard heavenly voices
That seemed to say…..

You're not a bad mother, mother
Look what you done
You're not a bad mother, mother
Look what you done
You're not a bad mother
Be proud of your son



All songs copyright Big C Music except "That Girl" and "Delayed Action" copyright George Clarke


© 2006 Lee Badham
Original photos by Toxic Pete